another letter from Colleen

Greetings,



I have sat here for some time staring at the blank page on my computer screen, wondering how to sum up this past week. It has been ordinary and yet anything but ordinary. On the surface so many things are just what they always have been, but underneath there is something else going on. I suppose it is that way always and I just don't realize it.



I have been convinced that I need to spend more time in prayer. This began almost a week ago and I have so enjoyed it. The spiritual warfare is violent and I began to notice it in more and more places. Again, perhaps it has always been there but I just started to notice. But my teammate, Laura, decided to pray in each of our classrooms before school that God would give them attitudes of pleasantness, a desire to work hard, and hearts open and soft to the gospel.



I think it must be impossible to spend time with God without finding something that needs to be changed. Over and over this week, I have been convicted of my sins of selfishness and possessiveness. There are so many things I have considered "mine" that are not mine, and even if they were I should be most willing to give them up if God asks them of me. He has asked them of me this week. Pray that I would continue to find these areas and that God would help me get rid of them.



Another thing I have become convinced of is that I must work harder at learning Kurdish and especially to learn the spiritual vocabulary in the language. I must get further if I am to do any good to the many women that have no English. I met a woman who is a baby Christian, she knows no other Christian women. My Kurdish isn't at the point where I can explain Biblical truths and she doesn't know English. I know what I am to do, not just to communicate with her, but to be able to communicate truth to my several other Kurdish friends who don't speak any English.



I am so blessed, however, to be able to proclaim the truth of Jesus Christ in English to my students. Please be praying for S-z. I have mentioned her before (she came to a Bible Study for a few weeks last year) but she seemed to lose interest in all things spiritual. But Tuesday she came to me with several questions about Jesus and Christians. At the end of lunch she asked if she could talk to me again, next lunch break, and ask some more questions. Wednesday was a holiday and so I figured she would probably have forgotten her question. But no, yesterday she came back at lunch and asked the question that I didn't have time to answer before.



"Why did Jesus let himself die?"



After some discussion and several other questions…(the gospel follows so logically, all you have to do is wait for the next perfect question!) she asked another one at the very end of lunch.



"So if a girl…or someone…anyone…not me, you know, believed Jesus and what he did, but was well afraid…people would say things like 'Why do you do that' and think that person is strange, would Jesus take her to heaven or leave her?"



Whoa! That's a hard question and I told her so. As I spoke, I referred to this "someone" as herself and she took it without comment. She is really struggling over this. Pray that her faith would grow and that I would have the wisdom in my words and actions. I love her and all my students so much.



Thank you for your prayers this week. My sleep has improved some, but I am still waking up once or twice in the night for no reason. I have discovered, however, that the rooster that lives across the street must be blind, for he crows all day and all night. Funny thing. But this morning I seem to have woken up with something or other rather icky; I hope it is short lived. Thank you all for your prayers and encouragement.



Many blessings on you all,

Colleen